Do You Remember Me?
by Kettle Orbit
Summary: Most of the Olympians have entered the cycle of reincarnation and Hermes has been given the task of herding them back together again. Hermes has never been a god who shirks his work...but who said he can't have a bit of fun while at it?
1. Hello, Hephaestus!

It really wasn't funny at all.

No, it was hillarious...and if he wasn't attempting to blend in he was pretty sure he would be gasping for air just about now.

What was so funny? Well, picture this...the great and terrible Ares, hot-tempered god of war, was currently sulking on the bench with a bloodied nose and a very familiar scowl on his face. His dark red hair was unkempt and his black eyes fixated on the figures running about on the field. Occasionally the black of his irises flickered, revealing flecks of crimson before returning to black too quickly for mortals to notice.

Hermes allowed himself a chuckle and a grin from his spot up in the bleachers, easily tuning out the noisy throng of people around him and focusing on the irate figure of his half-brother huddled down below. There were some things that would never change, no matter how many lifetimes elapsed.

The god sitting among humans was one such example. Although his clothes were modern enough, the T-shirt and sweats did nothing to fully conceal the ancient deity they disguised. The windswept blonde hair which fell partly into his face, freed of the confines of a certain winged cap, shone as brightly as it did the day he appeared before Perseus. His eyes, filled with merriment and promises of mischief, were no different from those of the infant who all those centuries ago crept from his cradle and spirited away Apollo's herds. Sneakered feet tapped incessantly on the flimsy metal, feeling rather heavy after the familiar weight, or lack thereof, of winged sandals.

Alas, however, that he was only one of few who remained completely unchanged.

_"You're going to reincarnate yourselves?" Hermes gaped. A couple of his family members snickered at his surprise. He ignored them and stared at his father. "And the point of this is...what?"_

_Zeus was beginning to acquire the exasperated look which often accompanied a conversation with the messenger god, but nonetheless he brushed off his impatience and proceeded to repeat his explanation for the fourth time._

_"Humans have all but forgotten our existence, remembering us only in what are to them nothing more than fanciful myths and legends. Our great temples are reduced to rubble and our names dishonored in every possible way." His hands clenched into fists and thunder sounded off in the distance. "And so we shall be reborn into the mortal realm. Mortals fear what they do not understand, and there is nothing they understand less than one of their own. We shall once again teach them the meaning of respect!"_

_Hermes tilted his head and raised his hand to stop Zeus mid-rant. "Okay, got it. But one question...don't your memories get sealed whenever you reincarnate?"_

_"That...is why you shall not be coming with us."_

A week later Olympus had emptied of everyone except Hermes and Hestia, who had stated that someone needed to welcome everyone back home. Poseidon disappeared beneath his oceans and Hades remained underground with Persephone. Persephone still stood by her cycle of alternating between the Underworld and Olympus, though her periods down below grew longer with each passing year, casting the Earth's climate into declining chaos. Hermes for his part decided to explore the new lifestyles that mortals had crafted for themselves. The years passed quickly and uneventfully, though there had been a few anxious moments when he accidentally ran into one of his reincarnated family members. The last time had been about ten years ago, when he had bumped into a drunk nineteen year old reincarnation of Hera. He had been forced to utilize all of his cunning to get out of _that_ situation.

Well, now his break was over and Hermes was back to work, his task being to track down the other Olympians and somehow reawaken their memories.

Family member number one: seventeen year old Arnold something-or-another, reincarnation of dear old Ares.

Family member number two: seventeen year old Ivan something-or-another, reincarnation of Hephaestus and Arnold's favorite punching bag.

Hermes grinned, picturing the expressions his brothers were no doubt going to wear after they remembered who they were. Idly he wondered if Aphrodite was somewhere nearby - that would just make things perfect. Still, awakening Ares when he was mad was _not_ the best idea, so perhaps it was better if he went for Hephaestus first.

Later that afternoon found Hermes lounging on a bench in the park, whistling a cheerful tune as he watched Ivan and some geeky kid fiddle with the controller of a sad-looking robot. Ivan wasn't lame like his old flesh, but one of his shoulders rose noticeably higher than the other.

"What to do...what to do..." Hermes hummed and flicked his hand in the direction of Ivan's friend. Immediately the poor kid dashed off, shouting something about needing to go to the bathroom. This left Ivan alone with the robot and a somewhat bored Hermes, the latter of which was _never _a good idea.

* * *

Ivan muttered under his breath as he struggled to unjam the joystick, then stopped and stared as the thing suddenly decided to elongate, twist, and bend of its own accord. With a yelp he dropped the controller and watched the buttons suddenly sprout legs and skip across the plastic.

Quickly he looked around, wondering if anyone else had noticed. Robert had gone to the bathroom, however, and the only other person nearby was a blond teenager who seemed to be intensely interested in a bunch of pigeons fighting over a piece of bread. Ivan looked at his controller again. The buttons and joystick had finally stopped moving and somehow embedded themselves back into the controller in the semblance of a smiley face.

"Oh dear dear dear...lost our touch, have we? Getting scared of a few changes in technology...that is just pathetic, Hephaestus."

Ivan jumped at the unexpected voice and spun to find the teenager standing right behind him, looking down at the controller with a curious expression. How on earth had he moved so fast? And why was he calling him 'Hephaestus'?

The boy tilted his head and grinned. "Remember how in the past I would always be messing around with your junk? Then you'll get angry at me and create all sorts of devious traps to catch me in...but for some reason all of them ended up backfiring thanks to the awesomeness of yours truly." He bowed elegantly.

"Um...what?"

The boy's grin faded slightly; then he rolled his eyes and lightly thumped himself on the side of the head. "Oh, silly me. Kinda forgot for a moment there...well, nice to meet you, big bro. I'm Hermes. Or Mercury. Or Good-For-Nothing Troublemaker. Depends on who you ask, really."

Ivan was on the verge of phoning a mental facility when the boy snapped his fingers jauntily. There was a whirring sound and Ivan's eyes turned into saucers as the robot suddenly came to life and began to move of its own accord, doing some kind of weird cross between a dance and jumping jacks.

"Ooh...how cute. Can be better though, don'tcha think?" The boy winked and flicked Ivan squarely on the forehead.

The normal reaction was to jump back and yell angrily; maybe throw in a punch or an accusation of harrassment.

Instead Ivan suddenly found that he couldn't move. Images flashed through his head - _no, not images...memories..._ - of a life he had forgotten, of centuries spent in the workshop of the gods...his workshop...

_"I suppose I will be going now." Hephaestus lingered in the doorway of his workshop and looked around, wanting to embed the images into his head forever. He remained there for about half a minute before an impatient cough and the sound of tapping feet came from behind him._

_"You're as sentimental as a girl!" Hermes complained. "Look, I'll come after you first, so will you just STOP MOPING AND LEAVE ALREADY?"_

Back in the present, Hephaestus shook his head and glared at an innocent-looking Hermes.

"How many times have I told you not to mess with my stuff?"

"Erm..." Hermes bit his tongue and began to count on his fingers.

Hephaestus sighed and picked up the ruined controller, suddenly coming to an unwelcome revelation...

Although his memories had returned, his powers would come only when Zeus was found...

Meaning that until Zeus was awakened he, along with the rest of the reincarnated immortals, was completely at the mercy of the god known as the Trickster.


	2. Aloha Ares!

_Author's Note: I'm way too lazy to change the rating, so there is probably going to be a whole bunch of asterisks in this chapter. It _is _Ares, after all.__ :D Sorry about the length of this chapter, and Hephaestus isn't in here either...well, the next chapter should be more interesting._

_

* * *

_

Arnold had never really been a morning person, especially on the weekends. So it was quite surprising when he woke up Saturday morning to find that the sun had just begun to rise.

"Goooooood morning~!" A cheerful voice chirped right next to his ear, making him jump at least a foot into the air.

"What the f***!" Arnold sprung out of bed and turned to the intruder, a blond-haired boy who seemed to be wearing a weird off-white dress and a ridiculously ornamented hat. "Who the f*** are you and what the f*** are you doing in my bed?"

The boy, who was laying flat on his stomach with his head propped up in his hands, grinned widely and simply rolled onto his back, spreading his arms so that he was lying spreadeagled _on top of Arnold's bed_.

"Ahh...you're pretty stupid, aren't you? Well, I guess it's to be expected, hm?" The boy winked and fingered the edge of his hat. "You know, this is called a _chiton _and it is most definitely not a _dress_. This also happens to be my favorite hat. Don't disrespect the wings. Wow, this is a really comfy bed you have here. Don't misunderstand - I'm not interested in _that _kind of stuff, and neither are you. Not that I care either way - say, are you?" The boy tilted his head and burst into laughter. "Oh Aphrodite will go absolutely crazy!" he said with relish.

"Dude. You're insane." Arnold backed towards the closet. There was his phone sitting on his desk, and better yet a baseball bat lying on the floor...

"Insane, hm?" The boy tapped his chin thoughtfully. "That's a new one...coming from you, at least. Normally it's something along the lines of _leave me alone or I'll rip out your ***** and shove it up your ***_." He made quotation marks in the air, his face breaking into a very amused smile. "And that was one of the milder ones. You never did have a very clean mouth."

Arnold grabbed his baseball bat and swung it down at the boy's head...

* * *

Hermes rolled his eyes and blew lightly on the baseball bat as it arched downwards, then grinned as soft flower petals made contact with his head.

"Ooh...flowers? For me? Sorry sweetie, but I don't really lean that way." He winked and whipped out a camera, taking a quick snapshot of Ares/Arnold standing there with a dumbstruck expression, dressed in baby blue pajamas and holding a bunch of sunflowers wrapped in bright pink tissue paper decorated with little hearts. Oh how everyone would _love _to see this! In fact, clueless Ares was turning out to be much more fun than he had initially thought.

Well, there really wasn't any deadline on his task...so it should be fine if he dragged things out a little.

Decision made, Hermes wiggled his fingers. "See ya later~!" he sang cheerfully as he disappeared from Arnold's room and rematerialized in an alley not too far away. Here he made a quick change in clothes to something more time-appropriate before stepping out into the street, whistling a happy tune. After taking a peek in Arnold's head, he had deduced that the god-turned-teen was planning to go to the movies with a girl sometime later today...

This was going to be fun.


	3. Moviemania

_AlienWonton: Ugh, this chapter was really hard to write since I'm not really a prankster type of person...or someone who watches a lot of movies, for that matter. :/ Well, enjoy!_

_

* * *

_

"You're saying that I have been pushed around by _Ares _this entire time?" Hephaestus ground his teeth together and clenched his hands into fists. "First with Aphrodite...and now this...an eternal plague on that hot-headed fool!"

Hermes looked suspiciously at his drink - something the mortals called 'coffee' - and took a sip. He promptly gagged and turned the liquid in his mouth into something more desirable - namely, good old-fashioned wine. Hephaestus raised an eyebrow as Hermes did the same to the rest of the coffee in his cup; the 'younger' of the gods simply shrugged and, after a quick glance around, waved his hand carelessly. A camera popped out of the air and landed in Hephaestus's lap.

Hephaestus picked up the camera warily - much to Hermes's amusement - and turned it on. Hermes grinned as he saw Ivan go slack-jawed in shock.

"I paid a visit to our dear brother earlier this morning. He has yet to awaken though, and I think I left behind a bit of an impression..."

Hephaestus's eyes gleamed as the smith god quickly caught on to what Hermes had in mind. "Well, this should be interesting. What do you propose?"

Hermes put on his most innocent smile and pulled out two movie tickets, waving them about in the air. "Say, do you want to go to the movies later? My treat~!"

* * *

Hephaestus and Hermes were just another two teens in a sea of hundreds as they walked into the movie theater, laughing and joking with an easy air. Every once in a while Hephaestus would notice a girl or two glance furtively at his companion before blushing and quickly looking away, or simply stare outright. The blacksmith's smile became slightly strained; although the other eleven Olympians had long since become accustomed to such admiration from mortals, for he himself this would never be so. As a god he had been lame; as a human he was simply disfigured. No, Hephaestus had always been revered for his skills and what he stood for, but nothing else.

Hermes was cheerfully chattering on about his latest journey to the Underworld and how Hades had been in the midst of throwing a temper tantrum at how the number of human conflicts had filled his lands well past its capacity, so that souls were literally stacked one on top of another. "...and you should've _seen _how annoyed Charon was! I mean, he was literally beating the souls into the boat until his oar broke and I had to repair it for him."

"That must have been a sight to see." Hephaestus laughed and suddenly found himself staring straight at Arnold...aka Ares.

Arnold was standing by the snack counter with a doll-like girl who was wearing so much makeup her face had turned into a mask. Arnold had looked up at the same time and spotted Hephaestus; with a smirk he gave a casual wave and gestured for Hephaestus to join them.

Ivan would have obeyed, since the alternative was usually something along the lines of having his underwear run up the flagpost everyday for an entire month.

Hephaestus simply smirked back and returned the wave, tapping Hermes on the shoulder as he did so. Hermes turned around.

Immediately Arnold went an interesting shade of pale purplish red. Hephaestus didn't need mind reading powers to know that Ares was currently torn between beating up a certain lunatic or retreating as far as possible, preferably to the other side of the world. Not that it would have done him any good.

Hermes grinned, winked, and blew a kiss in the pair's direction. Immediately the girl's jaw dropped and she stared at Hermes unabashedly, desire clear in her eyes. Arnold's mouth worked up and down as the unawakened war god struggled to find a way to get out of this mess.

"You know, I think I'll leave dear old Ares's memories for later." Hermes threw the pair one last jaunty salute - Arnold looked like he wanted to disappear - before pulling Hephaestus off towards the theaters. "Say, do you have any idea where the others have gone?"

"No, not really." Hephaestus took one last long look at Ares's unique expression, branding it into his mind before turning away reluctantly. "I think Zeus was reincarnated somewhere in Europe, but that's all I know. He might have moved around so he can be anywhere, really."

"Hm." Hermes took advantage of the dark theater to conjure two boxes of popcorn and matching cups of soda. Meanwhile, at the same time, the popcorn and soda Arnold and his date had just bought mysteriously disappeared. "Around a decade ago I saw Hera in Florida, and that's about it for me. There's you and there's Ares...oh, and I think I saw Aphrodite on TV last week...something about a movie or something. I wasn't really paying much attention."

"I see." Hephaestus managed to keep his voice fairly neutral even as his stomach did sumersaults at the mention of the love goddess. "At least you have some ideas on where to start."

The pair took a seat at the back of the theater and lapsed into silence for a while. Hermes munched contentedly through his popcorn while Hephaestus alternated between watching the screen and watching the mortals alround them. He was just rolling his eyes at a particularly corny car commercial when Hermes nudged him and nodded at Arnold and the girl, who had just entered the theater and taken seats just a few rows ahead, oblivious to the pair of gods sitting right behind them.

* * *

Arnold was _not _in a good mood. First he had woken up at an ungodly hour thanks to that kid, and naturally it had been impossible for him to go back to sleep afterwards. Now he was at the movies with Isabella, something he had been looking forward to all week - and then geeky Ivan shows up with the intruder from this morning. Of course the guy just _had _to mess around a bit, and now he was the only thing Isabella could talk about. To top things off, their popcorn and soda literally _vanished _into thin air moments after buying them. Isabella had gone to the bathroom while Arnold was the one holding them, and of course she ended up blaming him for losing them.

Well, at least now he could look forward to seeing a good horror film that promised plenty of violence and gore. Ever since he was little he had been drawn towards these things like a moth to the candle and watching one never ceased to raise his spirits up.

Now if only Isabella would stop prattling on and on about that lunatic and pay more attention to him...

"...and did you see his eyes? They were _gorgeous_! So dreamy and -" Isabella cut off midsentence and screamed at the top of her lungs, grabbing Arnold's arm in a death grip and making him wince.

"AAAH! SOMETHING REALLY DISGUSTING JUST GRABBED MY LEG! ARNOLD, GET RID OF IT! AAAH! AAAH! AAAH!"

Arnold looked around for help and found to his surprise that despite the commotion there was absolutely no one looking their way. It was like everyone else had suddenly turned deaf or something...okay, there was definitely something wrong here.

Isabella eventually calmed down enough to dash to the bathroom, and Arnold rubbed at his abused arm as he searched the audience suspiciously, looking for a certain blond-haired boy. His attention was diverted when a couple of people began to laugh and boo at something on the screen. He looked up and promptly wished for the floor to swallow him right then and there.

_A Message for My Sweetheart _was displayed proudly across the top of the screen, followed by what had to be the cheesiest and gayest love poem ever written in the history of man. As if that wasn't enough, the poem was set against an ultra-girly backdrop - think pink and lace and prancing hearts - and right next to it was a picture of Arnold himself. Not just any picture, either - it was without a doubt the picture the lunatic had taken of him this morning.

* * *

Hermes poked Hephaestus and whispered, "That's the poem Ares wrote for Aphrodite about a century ago."

Hephaestus somehow managed to stop laughing long enough to ask, "How did you get it?"

Hermes raised an eyebrow. "Well, I _am _the god of thieves...remember? Besides, it was just too good to ignore - I knew it'd come in handy one day!"

The two gods looked at each other. They looked at the screen. They collapsed into fits of laughter.

* * *

Two hours later Arnold all but ran out of the movie theater. Instead of the horror movie everyone around him saw, for some reason his eyes had decided to show him a very childish cartoon involving cute little bunnies skipping through fields of flowers and singing about how sharing was caring and how everyone should just stop fighting, hold hands, and be friends. Some invisible force kept him stuck in his seat the entire time, and for some reason he simply could not fall asleep.

He was just contemplating going into hibernation for about a decade or two when a hand shot out of the darkness and clamped over his eyes.

_"I don't believe this." Ares glared at Hermes's back. "Of all people, why does it have to be _you_?"_

_Hermes threw a devious smirk over his shoulder. "But of course it's because I'm the only one Zeus trusts with the task. Why, is the great Ares actually _nervous_?"_

_"Say that one more time..." Ares warned, eyes blazing dangerously. Hermes simply laughed and disappeared around the corner._

Back in the present, Ares growled dangerously. "Hermes..."

"Yes?" Hermes materialized out of thin air, wearing an expression of perfect innocence.

"Come here for a minute, will you?"

Hermes stuck out his tongue and ran down the sidewalk, Ares in hot pursuit. Hephaestus simply shook his head and sighed, his lips twitching in an effort not to laugh.


	4. Allo, Aphrodite!

_AlienWonton: Thank you to everyone who reviewed - all of them just made my day :D. Another very short, filler-esque chapter for today..._

_

* * *

_

Up on Mount Olympus, the eldest of Cronus's children moved slowly through the majestic, empty halls of her home. Stepping into one of the main chambers, she headed for the hearth with the intention of tending to it as she had countless times before.

"Hello, Hestia!"

Hestia paused and turned, a smile playing on her lips. Despite his troublemaking tendencies, one couldn't help but grow fond of the messenger god.

"Welcome back, Hermes. It has been...fifteen years, if I remember correctly. Have you begun your search yet?"

As Hestia knelt by the hearth Hermes plopped onto the floor and quickly told her of his success with Hephaestus and Ares. Unfortunately neither of them could come to Olympus until their powers returned, but both of them had agreed to aid Hermes in his search as much as possible.

"...and that reminds me that I should probably be down there as well." Hermes sighed melodramatically and cast a longing look in the direction of his room. "Well, duty calls. I'll see you some other time, Hestia!"

Hestia laughed softly. "Farewell, and do give my regards to your brothers" she called as her nephew picked himself off the floor and ran back the way he had come.

* * *

Family member number three: Aphrodite, who was supposedly some rising star in the movie industry.

'Normal' males, Hermes mused, probably didn't spend much time poring over stacks of celebrity magazines while locked away in their rooms. With this in mind, it probably shouldn't have been surprising that Ares and Hephaestus, both of whom still retained vestiges of their human personalities, looked extremely uncomfortable as they sat among piles of magazines with names like _Star, InStyle, _and _Life & Style Weekly_. Hephaestus was browsing the Internet for information while Ares had been given the unenviable task of flipping through every magazine looking for anyone who might be the reincarnated love goddess.

Ares had reluctantly agreed to postpone his revenge on Hermes for the simple reason of being unable to catch up to the messenger god without the use of his powers, which were still sealed away. The trio had formed a truce of some sort and were now working together to locate Aphrodite.

"Hello!" Hermes said cheerfully as he materialized on top of Ares's bed, munching on a large cookie he had swiped from the bakery. "How goes the search?"

"You do realize that this is actually _your _job, right?" Hephaestus pointed out without taking his eyes from the laptop screen. "You should be the one doing this."

"Yes, but the two of you were the ones who volunteered." Hermes nibbled delicately at a chocolate chip. "Not that I blame you...oh, the flower of all flowers that is the golden Aphrodite! Beauty she has, plentiful indeed, but in shame remains dearly lacking!" He tilted his head back and waited for his brothers' reactions.

Hephaestus blew out his cheeks, painfully aware of the accuracy of that statement. Ares aimed a powerful kick at the mattress, not really daring to do more at the moment but making a mental note to pay Hermes back in kind plus interest once his powers returned.

Still observing the pair in the corner of his eye, Hermes continued. "Wrap me in chains if you would, good Smith, and parade my dignity for all of Olympus to see. To such disgrace I willingly submit...if I may only bed the golden Aphrodite!"

Hephaestus's eyebrow twitched violently as he reminded himself over and over that the 'younger' god was just bored and baiting them. Ares, who really didn't need a reminder of _that _disastrous event, roared and hurled himself at Hermes, who simply rolled off the bed to avoid him.

"Oopsies," he said innocently.


	5. Il est l'amour

__

AlienWonton: Terribly sorry about the long delay, but the SATs tend to be a bit of a time eater. Well, to celebrate the end of my first SAT 1 ever...ladies and gentlemen, I present to you...Aphrodite! Sorry if I made her seem a bit...snobbish...but for some reason that's just what I picture her human incarnation as...as a goddess she should be nicer though. Maybe.

...Okay, I am HORRIBLE at any scenes related to flirting and stuff...

...and I ended up changing the rating in the end, so all those astericks in the previous chapter are going to waste...T.T

On another note, has anyone noticed how many Olympians have names beginning with either A or H? And that's not counting the nymphs, minor gods, etc...

...and now I've started rambling, haven't I?

Anyway, this chapter will be cut in half since I'm really not satisfied with the second part at ALL. It should be posted sometime this week though._____

* * *

_

"Up and at 'em~!" Hermes sang cheerfully as he bounced into the room and threw the curtains wide open. A lump on the bed wriggled around a bit and groaned.

"...five more minutes..." Ares's voice drifted out from under the sheets.

Hermes rolled his eyes and moved to the foot of the bed, where Ares's bare feet were sticking out. A big fluffy feather duster materialized in his hand.

Hephaestus, who was waiting outside the house, rolled his eyes as the sound of breaking objects, creative cursing, and delighted laughter drifted down to him from an upstairs window.

* * *

"You've found Aphrodite?"

Hephaestus nodded smugly. "It turns out that the rising movie star was actually her sister, who happens to look a bit like her." He held up a printout. "The sister's name is Vivian Willem, and Aphrodite is Cheryl Willem." The picture showed two girls who at first glance could have been twins if not for the age difference. After closer examination, however, it was obvious that the younger one - Aphrodite/Cheryl - was much more beautiful.

Ares practically devoured the picture with his eyes, much to Hephaestus's annoyance. Hermes let out an appreciative whistle and grinned when both of them turned to glare at him.

"Right." Ares rubbed his hands together. "Hermes will go find her, then..."

"...which I already did..." Hermes took a big bite of his bagel. "She lives in a city that's about three seconds from here - for me. She's a bit of a spoiled brat, actually." He grinned. "I saw her throwing a temper tantrum because her daddy wouldn't let her go out or something. But anyway, do you guys want to have a bit of fun with her before she awakens?"

* * *

"Hey, do you want to go to the mall tomorrow? I heard they're having a big sale on most of the brand names."

"Seriously? Who else's going?"

"I was thinking all the girls...a couple of the guys, too."

"I'm in. Tell everyone to be at my place around five - my chaffeur'll drive us."

"Sure. See ya, girlfriend!"

"Later!"

Cheryl snapped her cell phone shut and dropped it into her purse. She then took out her compact and carefully inspected herself in the mirror, carefully rearranging a lock of wavy, natural blond hair before giving her reflection a self-satisfied smile.

"Alright, Devon. You may stop here."

The chaffeur didn't take his eyes off the road as he replied, "Are you sure, ma'am? There is still a distance to walk."

"I think I'll manage." As the limo came to a stop Cheryl checked her reflection one more time, put away her compact, and gracefully exited the car.

The outside of the nightclub was, as usual, stuffed with wannabes dressed in what they probably thought were hot outfits. Cheryl wrinkled her nose in distaste; some of those clothes were things she wouldn't wish on her worse enemy, and _that _was saying something.

As was the case every night, however, the crowd parted easily enough once she made her presence known. With a thinly concealed smirk she waltzed up to the entrance, aware of the eyes hungrily devouring her perfect face, celebrity figure, and long, shapely legs. The tight red tube top and short black miniskirt she wore probably helped as well.

She was almost at the entrance when someone tapped her shoulder.

Startled, Cheryl turned and found herself face to face with a boy who looked about her age, give or take a year or two. An appreciative smile slowly spread over her face; she had rather high standards, but this guy, at least, rated at least an A or A+.

"Sorry, but you seemed a bit lonely." The guy gave her a comfortable smirk. "I thought you might use some company."

"Oh? And what sort of company did you have in mind?" Cheryl returned with a tilt of her head, allowing her lips to curve upwards just a tiny bit.

* * *

Even as a human Aphrodite was beautiful.

As a goddess, of course, she was more than just _beautiful_...but Ares wasn't particularly picky when it came to pretty girls, and especially not when it came to Aphrodite. He glanced sideways at the girl and smirked; Hephaestus, whose human incarnation practically screamed 'nerdy', had been forced to remain outside on the sidewalk sulking. Hermes, of course, had no such problem and had simply waltzed through the doors.

Speaking of Hermes...

"That bastard had better not be goofing off again," Ares muttered under his breath as he scanned the dimly lit room in a vain search for the trickster god.

* * *

Hermes was standing in a nightclub, invisible to human eyes.

Hermes was bored.

Oh dear.


	6. Beware a Creative Hermes

_AlienWonton: Is it just me, or has FanFiction been having a LOT of problems lately? Well, in any case...sorry for the long delay and doubly sorry about the length of this chapter, which I tried to make up for with quality...but that's for you to judge, I suppose._

* * *

Before Zeus' Great Reincarnation Rant, as Hermes had privately dubbed the event, he rarely had a lot of free time. It was quite odd, really. There were times when the messenger god suspected that his fellow Olympians were simply pulling random jobs out of thin air to keep him busy. It was quite mind boggling...after all, he would think that he made a better companion than some, if not most, of his family. Why would they constantly want him out of their way?

Take Apollo, for instance. Hermes understood that the guy was the patron of music and stuff like that, but did he really need to task Hermes with the job of collecting samples of music most unpopular to mortals? Being immortal was not the same as being immune to music that made one wish to drop dead right on the spot.

Needless to say, not long afterwards Apollo walked into his room to find it completely taken over by rabbits. The rabbits were young but not too young, both male and female...and it was springtime. Unfortunately he was unable to completely clear out his room before Artemis walked in and promptly punished him for even thinking about harming the creatures.

Was there a lesson to be learned from this story? Probably.

* * *

How to Annoy Ares Handbook (Written by Mercury, aka ...someone...)

Number 7: Embarass him in front of Aphrodite

Number 13: Embarass him in front of a large crowd of mortals

Number 5: Do both 7 and 13

* * *

Ares was the god of war. This meant that he was usually the first to leap into battle and the last to admit defeat. He had faced down countless enemies over his long life, and without a doubt will face many more. He liked to think that he was more than capable of handling anything the fates decided to throw his way.

So when something that felt suspiciously like a mouse...or a few mice...suddenly decided to start crawling up the inside of his pant leg, he managed to keep his cool and maintain his conversation with Cheryl, albeit somewhat distractedly as he began coming up with all sorts of innovative methods to make a particular immortal suffer. Painfully. With no mercy. At all. Shifting from leg to leg as the itchiness intensified and crawled even higher and higher. Eventually getting to the point where he had to subtly bounce in place and fight the urge to scratch.

After what seemed like an eternity the itchiness went away and Ares breathed a sigh of relief. A tinkling laugh sounded in his ear and immediately his battle-honed reflexes took over. He turned and lashed out at lightning speed...but of course the culprit was faster and his hand ended up smacking painfully into the wall.

"Uh, is something wrong?"

Ares forced on a smile and turned to Cheryl, who was giving him a strange look and beginning to edge away. "Nah, it's nothing. I thought there was a mosquito buzzing around my neck. I overreact a bit, I guess."

Cheryl raised a perfect eyebrow. "...If you say so."

Ares attempted a self-depricating laugh. If thoughts could maim, Hermes would have been reduced to nothing more than a bloody lump of immortal flesh writhing about in pain.

Time ticked by. Ares and Cheryl picked up their conversation and began to grow more comfortable again. After about half an hour with nothing much happening Cheryl pulled out her cell phone and asked him for his number.

Ares should have known better than to let his guard down.

But seriously, who would have thought that Hermes would dump a whole bucketful of heart-shaped confetti and pink goo onto his head, in front of Cheryl, right in the middle of the nightclub, where _everyone_ could see?

* * *

_"This is sooo troublesome!" Aphrodite complained as she stepped up to Hermes. "The mortals' standards of beauty have diminished sooo much I didn't think it was possible! Make sure you give me something beautiful to awaken to, alright?"_

_Hermes raised an eyebrow and smirked. "If you insist."_

In retrospect, Aphrodite realized that her request was probably not one of her smarter ones, seeing as it basically gave Hermes an open invitation. Still, she couldn't deny the smile which crept onto her face at the sight of a laughing Hermes being chased around by a tomato-red Ares in all his Valentine-themed glory, with a teary eyed Hephaestus rolling about the floor in hysterics.

How beautiful.


	7. Who Do We Have Here?

_AlienWonton: __Woohoo! Summertime! School's finally over! Well...it's been over for more than a week already but I guess I've been a bit lazy...*shifty eyes* Hopefully I'll have more time to write now that exams are all out of the way...but I still need to visit colleges and deal with all that stuff so my update schedule is still going to be pretty erratic._

_So...who is to be Hermes's next vic...*cough* erm, discovery? :D _

* * *

Hermes had entered the museum fully expecting to enjoy a most humorous walkthough of history as told by mortal eyes, but even he was stunned speechless for a moment when he found himself staring at what was unmistakably an immortal-crafted chamber pot standing proudly on display. The small info tag positioned to the right of the pot presented it as an ancient mixing bowl used for wine.

It wasn't too uncommon for immortals' possessions to end up in the hands of mortals who often had no idea what they were. Hermes personally knew of a case when Dionysus, in one of his drunken tantrums, sent several seemingly harmless items flying off of Olympus. A famished traveler had come upon a piece of soap and thought it was fruit sent from the gods to ease his hunger. A couple of days later people flocked in from all over to watch as the poor man stumbled along, miraculously avoiding bandits, wild animals, and treacherous cliffs even as he stared at nothing at particular and babbled insights to the future that put the Delphic oracle to shame.

All hail the power of soap.

"Wine was a major part of many ancient societies..." a tour guide began as she stopped in front of the display and waited for the rest of her group to catch up. Hermes blinked owlishly at her before shaking his head in disbelief and returning to his trip down memory lane.

* * *

Dawn glared half-heartedly at her paper, which was a quarter filled with notes and half filled with scribbles. Normally she welcomed these random bursts of artistic inspiration, which had led to her reputation in school as a great poet and artist, but occasionally these moments came at the most inconvenient times, such as in the middle of a test or now, during a field trip during which they were expected to take notes for a test in two days.

With a great effort she pried her thoughts away from poetry and focused her attention on the object of most of her classmates' attentions, a mixing bowl from some obscure civilization. Quickly she used her camera to take a picture of the information sign and scribbled down a few notes, looking around at the various displays while keeping half an ear on the tour guide's lecture.

For a moment her eyes fell on an amused looking teenager standing a few feet away. He was certainly not from her school and there were no other high school groups around, so either he was separated from his own group or he was playing hooky...although why anyone would want to play hooky in a museum was incomprehensible. Dawn was not the only one to notice him - a few of her female classmates were giggling quietly and daring one another to go and talk to him. He was indeed very good looking, and even Dawn found herself intrigued by him.

Dawn frowned - she had long accepted the fact that she swung both ways and didn't really discriminate between males and females, but there was just something strange about the fact that she was looking at this stranger and feeling a strange sort of attraction. It wasn't lustful, nor was it admiring - she would have felt much more comfortable if it was, since both of these were perfectly understandable. For some reason, however, Dawn found that she somehow expected this boy to be even more beautiful, beyond the comprehension of mortals. She also found that she felt a strange mixture of fondness, annoyance, and exasperation when she looked at him, much like how one would feel when dealing with a troublemaking sibling who was still endearing no matter how annoying they got.

It was all very strange and disconcerting, to say the least.

* * *

Hermes ran a hand through his hair and quirked an eyebrow at a display of ancient Greek weaponry, giving the shoddily constructed items a patronizing smile. In the background he could hear the tour guide drone on and on, oblivious to the not-so-subtle giggling and the not-subtle-at-all restlessness that permeated the high schoolers which made up the tour group.

With an exaggerated, drawn out sigh he turned to fix the high schoolers with a bored, uninterested stare. Some of the boys looked back at him challengingly; most ignored him, and one or two seemed to be checking him out. Most of the girls, meanwhile, blushed and quickly looked away, their nervous giggling quickly rising in volume.

Inwardly Hermes smirked - this never grew tiring. Still feigning disinterest, he casually made his way past the tour group, easily disregarding the furtive looks sent his way. As he neared the back of the group, however, his step faltered slightly and he turned curiously to find himself staring at a pair of curious blue eyes. For a moment he saw a faint flicker of gold, too brief for mortals to notice.

Somehow Hermes managed to keep walking despite the urge to simply stop in his tracks and stare. His mind was probably playing tricks on him...maybe he should cut back on the wine a bit.

Even so, he would have to keep an eye on this girl. If this girl was indeed who he thought she was...some teasing was in order.

_Oh Mr. Sun, Sun, Mr. Golden Sun,_

_Hiding behind a tree..._

* * *

Dawn shuddered and for some reason suddenly started seeing rabbits prancing across her paper.


	8. Does Zeus have a Sense of Humor?

_AlienWonton: __After almost two months of writing exclusively in first person I had a little trouble switching back to third person, but I think I managed...hopefully. Yes, this is yet another very, very short filler chapter to make up for my absence during the summer, but personally I blame writer's block._

* * *

Hermes wasn't really a big believer when it came to coincidences and all that. Zeus only knows how often the gods and goddesses messed around with the lives of mortals just because they were bored...or jealous...or infatuated...or...well, lets just say they messed around a lot. Sometimes, however, he found his beliefs being called into question...if only for the reason that he was pretty sure Zeus did _not_ have a sense of humor adequate enough to pull a stunt like this.

Hermes had hung around the museum until he got bored before tracking down the tour group from earlier and following them back to their school. When school ended the girl - someone called her Dawn, which only served to further his suspicions - simply sat on a bench outside the school listening to music even as most of the students went their seperate ways. Hermes sighed and sat down next to her, completely invisible.

He crossed his ankles, then uncrossed them and crossed them again in the other direction.

He counted to twenty in his head.

He compelled a particularly fat fly to buzz around Dawn's head for a while and watched in amusement as she went crazy trying to swat it, drawing odd looks from everyone in the vicinity.

He told the fly to land on her iPod and grinned as she shrieked in horror and tried to push it away with her school ID.

A few seconds later he gaped in astonishment as the person Dawn had been waiting for arrived - apparently she had a twin brother, and a couple of painful pinches assured Hermes that he was _not_ hallucinating.

Artemis and Apollo had been reincarnated as twins. The girl was named Dawn, and the boy was named Hunter.

Seriously, this was just too weird.

* * *

_AlienWonton: So...does anyone have any ideas as to how these two will get their memories back? Any input will be greatly appreciated since I'm drawing a complete blank at the moment :D_


	9. Introducing Apollo!

_AlienWonton: Sorry about the super late and short update, and a huge thank you to everyone who alterted, favorited, or reviewed! To all reviewers: I'm terribly sorry if I didn't respond to your review, but just know that I'm really grateful nonetheless :)._

* * *

Hermes stretched luxuriously and leaned against the fence, an invisible spectator to the basketball game unfolding two feet away. Unsurprisingly Hunter was dominating the court, having scored 21 of his team's 29 points. Briefly Hermes considered searching for Zeus first before returning to the twins. Sure, it meant less fun for him, but at least he would be spared from the wrath of an extremely angry Artemis. Wait, that wasn't the right word...maybe murderous? Suicidal? Destructive? Or just plain deadly?

He entertained this thought for all of five seconds before bundling it up and tossing it in the garbage. Finding Zeus meant unlocking the powers of all the reincarnated gods regardless of whether their memories had returned or not. That was...not a very good idea, even if the chaos promised to be entertaining.

"Okay, you can do this..." Hermes muttered to himself as he watched Hunter play basketball with a bunch of friends. "Just walk up, tap her...his...Artemis's forehead. She has no powers, so just stay invisible and keep away and you'll be fine. No biggie. C'mon, Hermes." He waited a few seconds, walked up to Hunter, followed the boy around the court for a few minutes, then rolled his eyes. On second thought, maybe he'll go see how Apollo was doing first.

* * *

Dawn sighed and dropped her head onto the table. She had a big test tomorrow and a whole pile of homework waiting for her, but the only thing she could think about was that irritating boy she'd seen at the museum. She didn't even know why she thought he was one of the most irritating things on the planet since he hadn't even done anything besides walk past, but for some reason that was the word that kept popping into her head.

Her brother was out playing with friends - curse him for having no homework today! - and her parents were still at work, so she had the whole house to herself. No one would know if she took a short break, right?

Right.

* * *

Hermes lounged against the wall and watched Dawn pull out a carton of ice cream. Alright, humans liked their comfort food. So did gods, although in their case 'food' was often replaced by other nouns. Dawn would probably be happier after eating, and hopefully some of that would leak into Apollo when the god wakes up. That was why Hermes was going to wait until Dawn was out of the kitchen first. The fact that the kitchen held a wide selection of shiny, good quality knives had nothing to do with it. Not at all.

...Who was he kidding? Hermes shook his head and waved a lazy hand; the vanilla ice cream was quickly replaced by mint chocolate chip - Apollo's least favorite flavor if memory served, though Zeus only knew why - and just as a safety precaution stuck a bunch of colorful, glittery stickers onto the knife blades. Alright, not really a safety precaution - and who needed one, anyway? - but hey, he was bored.

Predictably Dawn yelped and dropped the carton; Hermes huffed and caught it before it hit the floor.

"Seriously, how wasteful can you be?" he complained, making himself visible and grabbing a spoon. "I know you hate this flavor, but that's no excuse to be picky!" He popped a spoonful of ice cream into his mouth and grinned at Dawn's flabbergasted expression.

"W-w-who...what...how..." she stammered, backing away.

"Actually, I think the correct order's 'who, what, when, where, and how'," Hermes said cheerfully, tapping her on the forehead with his spoon.

* * *

_"Okay, I think I'm good." Apollo took a deep breath and looked around his room. He had somehow managed to clean up most of his stuff by stuffing them into various nooks and crannies, so they should be safe for the immediate future-_

_CRASH._

_Hermes poked his head out from around the open door and blinked owlishly at the large array of musical instruments strewn haphazardly all over the floor. "Um, Apollo? Did you happen to store any of this above your door by any chance?"_

_Apollo closed his eyes and silently counted to twenty in six languages. "Since when did you use the door?"_

_"Since you started hiding stuff on top of it. Duh. Anyway, c'mon! Let's go!"_

Apollo opened his mouth, ready to berate Hermes for taking so long to find him, but almost immediately froze and slowly looked down at himself, hoping beyond hope that his reincarnations' memories were somehow faulty.

No such luck.

Eyebrow twitching, he looked up and glared at Hermes, who had taken the form of a little wide-eyed boy clutching a melting ice cream cone.

"Hermes..."

"Ooh, look at the time! I gotta go - y'know, messenger god and all that. Duty calls! See ya later, bro!" Hermes gave a cheerful wave and disappeared, leaving Apollo to deal with his little situation.


End file.
